Day 5 of the First Chemo Cycle

The magic of Day 5. This afternoon I forced down my last pills of this cycle and told myself I was "a good girl" since no one else was around to witness the heroic act.

I still feel queasy and tired. I slept almost 12 hours last night. The weird taste in my mouth, like an extra thin layer of alien mucous coating my tongue and cheeks and teeth, is still there. I feel fragile, but that could be a result of staying in bed for almost 3 days and losing 2 kilos.

I had a not-so-ambitious list of things to do, and then proceeded to do even less than what was on the list. I managed to walk to the mail box to send my DVDs back to DVDPost (decided that I could and should watch the ending of Sweeney Todd after my 6 months of treatment are up). I also managed to walk a bit further to the pharmacist, to ask if they had gelcaps to hide the bitter flavor of prednisolone that I dreaded taking every day. The woman and the man behind the desk looked at each other and laughed. I somewhat expected the reaction, but it still hurt. I'll readily admit that the Dutch are tougher than we Americans. If I want easy-to-swallow, nice-tasting medicine, I always look for American brands. Still, I can't help feeling that the Dutch who take the attitude of 'grin and bear it' suffer unnecessarily more than they need to. The chemo treatment is bad enough; I'm going to do everything I can to make it more bearable.

On the way back from that unsuccessful mission, I passed a bakery which smelled delicious. But when I went inside, I found the sights and smells overwhelming and backed out again. Then I tried the chocolaterie. Thankfully, the strong chocolate smell still smelled good and didn't make me queasier. I was thinking that chocolate might be a way to fatten me up again. Ironic: I spent the whole past year trying in vain to lose a few pounds, but I found that the 'accomplishment' of this goal in just a few days time so alarming that I'm now set on trying to reverse the trend. Unfortunately, in my light-headed state, I had managed to leave the apartment without my wallet. So the chocolates are still in the store, but I'll go back shortly to pick them up.

Tonight I have a ticket to see Ojos de Brujos, a ticket that I bought months ago. I plan to go, although I'm not convinced it's a wise idea. I seem to be unusually sensitive to sights and sounds and smells. Usually I like to have background noise, such as iTunes or the television, as I clean up around the apartment or fix a meal. But in the last 2 days, I've preferred quiet indoors. It's nice to hear the birds outside and the shouts of the kids in the neighborhood playing in the park. I noticed on my walk today that some trees have sprouted green. Spring is really here at last.